Adding Up the Years

"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."  Phyllis Diller

Today I am celebrating parenthood. This is the 22^nd anniversary of my foray into the job.  

A friend suggested adding it all up, like they do for lawyer’s ads. Parenting each child gives me an astounding 161 years of experience. Together, hubby and I can put (2, carry the one) 322 years of parenting experience on our shingle! 

Now I remember why people always do a double-take when they hear our lucky number 13!

Every parent soon realizes parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever love.

 Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love

Everyone commiserates that the pay is lousy, but we sometimes forget the benefits are outrageous. Carrying thirteen babies, one at a time over a span of 20 years, first in my heart, my body, then my arms, my home, my car, and finally my prayers has changed much more than the size of my waist and the amount in my bank account.

When that tiny baby looked up at me with wonder for the first time, my heart and life were irrevocably changed. The logic and reason I had before that point were destroyed in an explosion of overwhelming maternal compassion and protection.

So were my eardrums, but that’s another matter.

I believe everyone should have babies and teenagers at the same time. That way, when the teen rolls his eyes and slams into his room, the baby will look up at you with this adoring smile that says, “My world is complete!” and you have a spark of hope for another day.

 Everyone should have babies and teenagers at the same time...

Conversely, when you have spent the day shushing a crying baby and wiping spit-up off your shoulder, the teenager can take a turn patting and pacing and have a real adult conversation as he does.

As for having a large family, I highly recommend it. Adaptability keeps us young. Many of the folks with whom we started out having children are now rattling around in their empty houses. When they lay down a book, that book inexplicably stays in exactly the same spot until they pick it up again a week later. It does not migrate behind the couch or under the toddler’s bed. They wake every morning to silence and the sound of birdsong, not screaming. 

I certainly don't envy them.

Granted, we don’t have the energy we once did, but we are still happily in the full circle of busy parenting. Every day is filled with the learning and wonder of childhood… multiplied, of course, by the myriad of experiences. 

Keturah is potty training, Ezra is learning to tie his shoes, and Faith is memorizing her multiplication tables. Hannah is playing basketball, while Micah just got his first job. Our capacity for variety and change is continually challenged, and there is no end in sight. 

At the age when our schoolmates are facing the empty nest, we are learning and growing instead of settling in. 

This suits me. I’m not ready to be old.

Years ago, I had a vision of two gardens. The first one was in a tiny back yard. It consisted of a few ruler-straight rows of vegetables carefully tended so there was not a weed in sight.  A few modest vegetables were growing on the stalks. It looked good and virtuous and proper.

The other garden was an imposing sight to behold. A huge mass of plant material sprang from the ground in every configuration imaginable. Flowers were entwined with vegetables and fruit in a wild mass of growth. Weeds grew all around the garden, and even in it there were a few. But what drew my attention was the fruit. In this wild chaos of a garden grew this luscious, massive produce. The fruit and flowers were everywhere in great abundance. 

 What drew my attention was the fruit

I felt in that moment that God was showing me the choice I could make with my life. In attempting to control my parenting, I could have a beautifully managed garden with some genuine fruit. Or, I could give up control and let the garden grow in God’s way. 

I would risk the scrutiny of others and the lack of showmanship, but I could have the big healthy fruit.

I chose fruit.

Take it from my considerable years of experience. The fruit is incredibly sweet!